When the church says what she’s done is so bad she can no longer attend services, what do you do? What is the right thing to do? What is the loving thing to do?
When the church says what she’s done is so bad she can no longer attend services, what do you do?
What is the right thing to do? What is the loving thing to do?
Join us for this episode with Connie A Baker, speaker, author, licensed therapist and Trauma Recovery Specialist as she tell us what she wishes we knew about what it was like to be asked to leave her church.
10:43 Why she became a therapist
12:40 Connie’s childhood and how that was a sign she was meant to become a Therapist one day
15:18 How the church was Connie’s LIfe Blood – the church became her everything, her whole social circle
18:45 Her story – what caused the leadership of the church to ask her to leave the church
27:13 “I do not believe pastors have affairs. If it is with someone in their own church, it is not an affair.”
28:00 Even though she confessed to an emotional affair, that is not what happened. She wasn’t being deceitful, at the time she didn’t understand what happened
29:00 Why does she confess to something untrue?
33:06 What happens to the pastor who abuses her?
33:56 What does life look immediately after this busts open?
37:05 Losing your identity. How does this affect her spiritually at this point in her story?
40:45 Loss of reputation
41:45 Rebuilding her faith
47:25 What she did to help her through the depression, PTSD, and anxiety that resulted
49:42 What wasn’t helpful
-“Explain exactly what happen.” – looking for who is to blame
-“I don’t even know who you are anymore.” – how about asking them how they are doing, “This is so not like you Connie, I’m just so confused. Talk to me.”
How to be a supportive friend:
-Check up on her well being without asking too many questions (prying) or say, “You are really on my heart.”
-Those that can ask and listen to her answer, make sure to give lots of permission if they don’t want to talk
-Listen & love her
-Recognize that she is the same person – reflect back to her who she really is
61:10 Where you can find Connie:
Facebook Group: Overcoming Religious Abuse: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ORACommunity/
Facebook page: Connie A Baker MA LPC https://www.facebook.com/ReligiousAbuseRecovery/
Book: Traumatized by Religious Abuse: https://www.amazon.com/Traumatized-Religious-Abuse-Courage-Survivors/dp/1643881213/ref=sr_1_1?crid=289DQ3UQYHNQY&keywords=traumatized+by+religious+abuse&qid=1569472865&s=gateway&sprefix=traumatized%2Caps%2C258&sr=8-1
64:00 Big Reveal
Want to hear the why behind Connie’s Big Reveal? Become a Patreon Member of this podcast and get access to the “Interview After the Interview” episode. https://www.patreon.com/whatshewishesyouknew
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