KATHLEEN’S THOUGHTS & PONDERINGS
Why Can’t I Find My Identity in Christ?
Kathleen M Peters, Speaker/Author
“You just need to find your identity in Christ. Believe what He says about you. Don’t put your identity in your accomplishment and things. Find your peace in God.”
It’s like we aren’t concerned at all that each precious person is in her own battle fighting against a myriad of lies swimming around in her brain. Lies her family and friends have spoken into her life since she was old enough to understand if she was beloved by those closest to her. Lies she’s told herself. Lies she’s believed about God. Lies strangers spoke into her. No we imply she is only to believe she is strong, valued, chosen, a prize worth fighting for. Easy peasy. Just believe it.
Come on girl, all you gotta do is believe you are loved, not alone, and God’s masterpiece and you will find your identify in Christ and all your problems are solved.
You say you’ve been trying to beat God’s promises into your heart and head for the last 40 years and they just don’t seem to have staying power? And you believe it’s because you don’t have enough faith, you lack discipline; if you only read your Bible and prayed more. There is obviously something wrong with you spiritually.
Yeah, I’ve thought that too, friend.
A nightly prayer, albeit a twisted version of Romans 12:2 (“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind), was “Dear God, please perform a lobotomy on me. I just can’t seem to get this identity stuff to stick. I keep trying to earn your love with my achievements and my do-good actions. The problem is I keep screwing up. So, please just come in and give me a brand new brain. I can’t make this one do what I want.”
“Dear God, please perform a lobotomy on me. I just can’t seem to get this identity stuff to stick. I keep trying to earn your love with my achievements and my do-good actions. The problem is I keep screwing up. So, please just come in and give me a brand new brain. I can’t make this one do what I want.”
Crazy thing? At the age of 45, I realized He had performed a miracle on my brain. I was different. Something changed and I began to believe what He said about me. And it wasn’t that I memorized the large list of who He says I am from the Bible; I had that memorized years before. No, it was because I began to take a hard look at some of the lies I believed about me. And then I took each one to the mat and wrestled with it to find out 1) where it came from 2) was it true 3) was it holding me back from being the woman He created me to be 4) was I willing to let it go.
It’s often a grueling wrestling match that requires courage, sweat, and vulnerability. It ain’t a pretty thing to watch, ya’ll. Looking at the ugliness that has been ruling your life and keeping you small and ineffective is gut wrenching stuff and in some cases embarrassing.
But also it’s incredibly freeing to have God say, “Girl, that ain’t yours to keep cuz it ain’t true. You’ve been lied to. Time to let it go. Here’s my truth. And sweetheart, I don’t have those wild expectations you think I have for you. All I want it is to love you and have you go do the things I made you to do. Take my hand. Let’s tackle another lie.”
If you are struggling to find your identity in Christ, may I humbly suggest it may be time to go to the mat. You can do it, girl. Grab your courage (fake it if you have to) and start by jotting down what you believe about you. Grab the Notes app in your phone and every time you think something positive or negative about yourself, write it down. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing. It’s here where you’ll get to the root of what’s keeping you from believing the God who adores you.
Want some help figuring out what to take to the mat? My book Embrace You – A Guide to Uncovering the Real You is filled with 20 simple questions to ask yourself. And I’ll be there the whole time, standing with you, guiding you through the process. You can do this.
Schedule an Event